I found myself inspired and learning so much about life — from a dead person.
Yesterday, after running some errands, I took a Lift to attend the wake of my neighbor’s mom.
The driver, a black man in a red T-shirt with silvered hair and bright eyes, introduced himself Ben.
Our casual exchange of “how are you?” and “what do you do?” quickly turned into a fascinating conversation (the drive was 35 minutes). When I told him I’d recently signed a book contract with a Vietnamese publisher who would help me bring it to life with love (more on this in another letter and LinkedIn), he clapped his hands enthusiastically.
“You must be a writer, too?” I asked.”Yes,” he said. “I used to be a video producer for a program back in the Dominican Republic. And I’ve been working on a script.” His voice was gentle and calm. “Tell me what your book is about please,” he said.
And so, I did.
“Oh, I love it! And I can tell a lot about you from the way you look. I like that you are in charge of your life and turn challenges into opportunities. You truly have a life chart and you just follow it with all your heart,” Ben said.
We kept encouraging each other until it was time to say goodbye.
“You really made my day!” Ben waved as I left.
I waved back and walked into the building, where my neighbor, Bob (name changed), greeted me.
“You didn’t have to come. I know you have a lot going on,” he said.
And he was right — I had a lot in my plate. But Bob is such a very nice neighbor, and very importantly as well, the story of his mom’s life was so beautiful that I wanted to join him in celebrating her life, to “meet” her somehow. So I made it work.
After I signed in, Bob handed me a small card with a photo of his mom, Laura (name changed), along with her birth and her death dates, and a quote she loved: “In a world where we can choose to be anything, choose to be kind.”And as we we talked, I admired the photos and accolades surrounding her urn.
Laura, a mother of three, had spearheaded local activities, run for the school board, founded a community childcare center, and was even named Person of the Year in her community. Even in her old age, one would thought she was a first lady: so elegant, so beautiful, so classy. Her composure and her smile exuded a profound inner strength. I found myself saying to Bob, “I wished I could have met her.”
When I left the wake, I couldn’t help thinking about Laura. “Such a beautifully lived life,” I thought.
Over dinner, I shared the experience with my family — my first time at a wake — and we all reflected on it.
“So one big word that Bob’s mom lived by and advocated for is kindness. What’s your one word?” I asked my husband.
“Efficiency,” he said. I was not surprised; he was a software engineer and obsessed with making life easier for organizations through softwares that help elevate efficiency.
For me, the answer was clear: happiness.
Later, when I put my daughter to bed, she asked me to read her three of her favorite pages in Charlotte’s Web, still my favorite children’s book. It was the part where Charlotte passed away, but her legacy lived on through her children, three of them staying back with Wilbur and becoming his friends, and through her wonderful story about friendship.
As I tucked in my little one, I reflected on the events of the day. Each was random, yet together, they spoke to the one big life we each have. Even when life is short, if we have our own life chart (in Ben’s words), our vision for the kind of contribution we deeply desire to make, and our personal life theme, we live fully. And when our time comes, our stories and our legacies still live on and inspire many others — like Laura’s did.
What’s your life theme? How does your life chart look like? Are you living each day creating that story you want to be remembered for?
Onwards to Happiness Infinity,
Amy Nguyen
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